Say Goodbye
by RandomKiwi
Summary: It had been one year since the horrible breakup, when Blaine Anderson had lost his everything. Kurt. Kurt was his world, and through one stupid mistake, he'd ruined that. Blangst. Bring tissues.


**AN: Hey, guys! I wrote this tonight on the**** fly... I just got overwhelmed with feels and this resulted. Brief mention Paul (one sentence). This is a Blangst piece, but I do forewarn you that I haven't edited. Dedicated to my darling Isa (America's-Suiteheart) for her birthday! (Yes, Isa. It's in the packet. You read the hard copy. I signed it for you. :P) If you're bad with Blangst, don't read. Also, I completely threw most canon under the bus. Sorry. Feels = creative liscence! Please review, lovelies. Reviews make me happy, and they help me determine what I'm going to upload next for you guys!**

**My tumblr is: .com. Feel free to message me on here or on Tumblr with any prompts, questions, concerns, complaints, etc. Enjoy!  
~ RandomKiwi  
**

* * *

Say Goodbye

It had been one year since the horrible breakup, when Blaine Anderson had lost his everything. Kurt. Kurt was his world, and through one stupid mistake, he'd ruined that. Blaine had graduated from McKinley as senior class president as well as a show choir legend. The New Directions had won Nationals again… But of course, Kurt had failed to show. Ever since the last Thanksgiving, they'd been texting back and forth a bit, but never for longer than five minute intervals at a time. It was clear that Kurt had moved on, that there was no chance of ever salvaging what shreds of hope they'd had left during the winter of Blaine's senior year. The dapper young man had applied and been accepted to Julliard, majoring in musical theater. He also had hopes of landing a recording contract, though those dreams were yet to show a chance of coming true.

It was funny though, how even though he was in the city of dreams, Blaine lacked any real hope for, well, anything. Something was always missing. Something always seemed to be lacking, something big… A huge piece of his dreams was no longer an active part of his life, and because of that, Blaine found himself turning from a natural extrovert to an introvert. He retreated to his apartment directly after classes, only going out into the city when he was sure none of his classmates would try to spend time with him.

It was a Friday night and somehow Blaine found himself walking around in Battery Park, the place he'd vowed to never visit again… Too late. He held on to his hot chocolate, cradling it in his hands as he walked, shooting a pained glance towards the fountain. He passed by the benches, that horrible night in October of last year playing over and over in his mind.

* * *

"_I… I was with someone." The look of pure and utter shock and dismay on Kurt's face was heartbreaking. How his smile faltered, crumbled into a horrid, horrid frown… It was only horrid because Blaine knew he couldn't turn it upside down. He knew he couldn't crack a joke or a cheesy saying and make Kurt smile again… Because unlike so many times before, this frown was Blaine's fault. He'd caused Kurt's sadness, and it made him want to tear himself apart with the guilt._

* * *

Blaine pressed forward, not granting himself the ability to dwell on that feeling of guilt and despair that he'd been concealing for a year. His friends at McKinley didn't really help him out, even when he cried out for help. He even broke down at his Grease audition… and no one did a fucking thing about it. How could anything change now? _Why would anyone bother, anyway?_

Blaine took a prolonged sip of his hot chocolate, the hot liquid coating his throat with warmth as he swallowed. At least, in that fraction of a moment, he could feel warm. New York winters were brutal, definitely more than he'd bargained for. Blaine remembered back to when he and Kurt had first started dating, especially the day in December of his junior year when a colossal blizzard hit Ohio.

* * *

"_Blaaaaine!" Kurt whined, pouting. "We can __**not**__ be outside in this! Where are we going anyway?"_

_The boy in question just chuckled, shaking his head softly. "You'll see." He was admittedly freezing himself, but they were almost there… Five more minutes, maybe less if they stayed at the pace they were going._

"_S-seriously B-B-Blaine… I'm f-freezing my a-ass o-off…"_

_Instead of responding, Blaine stopped walking. They'd reached their destination… Their oak. Kurt looked up at the tree, marveling in its beauty. Blaine shivered as well, the wet snow dampening his coat and hair. His curls began to spring free of his usual gel helmet._

"_Come here," Kurt said softly, smiling as his teeth chattered. He enveloped Blaine in a large embrace, surrounding the smaller boy with warmth. Their shared body heat thawed them both out enough to feel most of their arms again._

"_I love you," Blaine whispered, shifting back a bit to look up into Kurt's glasz eyes. They looked more ice blue today, which matched the weather almost perfectly. Before Kurt could respond, Blaine pressed his lips against his boyfriend's, initiating a slow, passionate kiss. At first, his numb lips picked up no sensation… Then slowly, kiss after kiss, they began to regain feeling. _

_There, underneath their oak tree, Kurt whispered the four words that would forever change their relationship for the better. When they finally pulled apart to catch their breath, he pressed his cold forehead against Blaine's, a soft smile gracing his lips. His cheeks and nose were rosy from the cold, emphasizing his sparkling blue eyes. _

"_I love you too."_

* * *

Blaine's hands shook with the cold, the icy wind easily penetrating through his H&M pea coat. Had he cared more, he would have purchased a heavier, warmer coat for the winter. Instead, Blaine accepted the bone-chilling cold day after day, night after night.

Various couples walked past, admiring the Christmas decorations that beautified the park. A light dusting of snow coated the ground; Blaine could hear the nearly silent crunch of the ice crystals beneath his feet as he trudged along, head down. Other people had a sweetheart to hold, someone to hold them. To keep them warm in the icy winters... Blaine didn't have that. Hell, he didn't _deserve_ it.

He shivered again, taking another sip of his hot chocolate. Just as he'd suspected, it was cold by now, almost as if it had been laid to rest in an ice box for a few hours. He tossed the cup into the nearest trash barrel and continued to press onward, keeping his eyes trained on the ground and his hands tucked in his pockets.

"Blaine?"

He recognized that voice. That beautiful, sweet, melodic voice… The man in question looked up, meeting the eyes of the other. Hazel met glass and time seemed to stand still.

"Oh…. Kurt…. Hi," Blaine said, forcing a small smile. He was sure it looked more like a grimace… He couldn't remember the last time he'd _truly_ smiled.

"Hey, how have you been? What are you… What are you doing here in New York?" Kurt asked. Blaine broke the eye contact, his own eyes misting over involuntarily with tears. All of the love he'd seen in those gorgeous blue eyes one year ago was missing… gone with the wind.

"I've been…" he hesitated, looking down. "…Fine," he finished, his voice hushed. If he spoke up, Blaine was sure it would crack. "I'm taking classes at NYU. I'm sorry I didn't tell you… Things have been… busy lately."

Kurt nodded, smiling. Unlike Blaine's, his was genuine… Or at least to Blaine it seemed to be. "That's good for you." The chestnut haired man's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, answering it on the first ring. "Hello? Yes, honey," he chuckled lightly. Blaine recognized that certain sparkle in Kurt's eyes, the look that used to be reserved only for him. "Mhm. Yeah, I'm on my way. I just ran into an old friend. Mhm…. Of course! I'd love to meet your parents for Christmas. I'll see you in a few. Bye, I love you." Kurt hung up the phone, a fresh blush dusting his cheeks. Or maybe it was just the cold? Blaine wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"Boyfriend?" Blaine asked, trying his best not to sound wounded or pained. He forced a smile, this one looking a bit less fake than the last.

Kurt nodded, his gaze falling to his feet. He poked at the fresh snow on the ground with the toe of his boot, biting his lip. "Yeah… Paul," Kurt murmured. It was obvious that he was trying not to smile for Blaine's sake.

"Well, I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy," Blaine managed to say, his voice coming out at just above a whisper.

Kurt nodded, offering his ex-boyfriend a small smile. "Thank you… I have to get going. Dinner and a movie," he explained, rocking up onto his toes and back onto his heels. It was a nervous habit Kurt had since before he'd met Blaine. Blaine's mind visited the memory of that nervous 'Dalton transfer', doing the same thing as he'd stood in the sea of Dalton blazers... He saw no evidence of that nervous high school boy any more. Kurt had grown up. He was independent… He didn't need Blaine; not any more. It was all he could do not to break down sobbing.

"It… I, um…. It was nice seeing you, Kurt," Blaine fumbled with his words a bit, the sadness seeping into his voice before he could prevent it.

"Yeah. You too, Blaine. Maybe… Maybe I'll see you around or something." That last sentence stung, for Blaine knew it was just something to say, something to fill the gaps in their conversation. Blaine knew Kurt didn't want to see him again, and he was positive that Kurt knew it too.

In just a moment Kurt was gone, walking off in the direction he'd been headed before. Blaine watched him leave, the tears now streaming down his face, stinging his cold skin. He pivoted on his heel and began to walk in the opposite direction, the distance between the two of them increasing with every single step.

There was no more _KurtandBlaine._ It was only Kurt… and Blaine. Separate individuals, separate lives…

Blaine hadn't only just lost his boyfriend…. He'd lost his best friend. His best friend that had promised to never say goodbye to him.

It didn't have to be put into words for Blaine to get the memo.


End file.
